I walked a road of ignorance shrouded in happiness. I could see miracles everywhere I went, and passion for the boundless beauty of this earth was always present. There was so much to be seen and even more to be done! Construction! Industry! Adventure! Life! Yet, I never imagined that tears are deep. I never imagined that others will reject eternal life. I never imagined that sin is real.
I walked a road of fear shrouded in morality. I knew who I ought to be, and I was going to be it. What’s more, I was going to help others be it too. I would join with them in community and work backwards to find that bliss that I used to have. I had seen the dark side and was terrified of repeating it. I was terrified of pain. So I listened to others and was surprised. The masters of thought are called masters for a reason. I sensed that I disputed their words, but could not say why. I respected their honest disagreement, and this alarmed me. Was I avoiding what I ought to be embracing? Was my faith in vain?
I walked a road of pride shrouded in knowledge. I saw much work to be done. “All those philosophers who other people respect are fools, and I will find out why. I will have the answers with mathematical precision, and everyone will listen to me.” One day someone told me, “Your thinking is prideful.” She was right. Who knew that doctrine could be cold? Who knew that no one cares about philosophy? Who knew that the theologian can forget the meaning of life?
So I hope to one day walk a road of Christ shrouded in love. I hope my love is surrounded by knowledge, surrounded by morality, surrounded by happiness. I hope to love first of all, and I hope that love is built from knowledge. I hope to gain whatever knowledge I gain through morality. I hope that my morality is happy. I hope it is joyful. I hope it is at peace. I hope it is playful. I hope it is innocent like a child. I hope ignorance dissolves and wisdom emerges. I hope fear is beaten back by strength. I hope pride shrivels into a speck and humility grows into a fresh peach. I hope Christ holds me close, and I hope He makes me to gaze upon Him. I hope I have hoped what I ought to have hoped.