When we love others, we want the best for them, which in large part just means that we want them to be the best they can be. We want to see their souls be kind, strong, and joyful. It is truly astonishing, however, how quickly and completely this good hope can turn from a love of who they were made to be into a hatred of who they are. Once we find out that they are not what we earnestly desire them to be, we become angry and frustrated with them, and cope by turning to control and manipulation. “After all,” we say to ourselves, “it is for their own good.”
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Thoughts of a Novice 