Anchor of the Maelstrom

I listen to reason, the firm ground, the unquestionable
I listen to emotion, the safeguard against savagery, the heart’s voice
I listen to Locke, the painter of a nation of statesmen
I listen to Marx, the savior of the pigs’ exploited
I listen to my past, the joyous and simple and confident and comfortable
I listen to another’s past, the joyous and simple and confident and comfortable and … different, and … better
I listen to leaders, the importants, the greats, the builders
I listen to followers, the sensible critics, the unseen directors
I listen to Bonhoeffer, the radical proclaimer of all humility and worship and righteousness
I listen to Nietzsche, the arrogant, insane genius I’m told to hate but can’t
I listen to work, the pleasure in effecting, the fulfillment of creating
I listen to rest, the end of work, the affectionate quiet
I listen to Tolkien, the peaceful lover of nature and people
I listen to Howl, the boundless agony of brilliant sensitivity
I listen to cool, the honesty, the subtlety, the draw of men
I listen to nerd, the innocent unawareness that holds eternal stability
I listen to Blue Winds Dancing, the tiredness, the absurdity of civilization
I listen to Harvard, the bastion of scholarship and deliberation
I listen to answers, the deep relief, the solid food
I listen to questions, the scoffer of answers, the intelligent abyss
I listen to masculine, the contented uncaring, the way to get it done
I listen to feminine, the fairer sex, the woman’s touch
I listen to gentle, the calming of the storm, the soft affirmation
I listen to challenge, the unwelcome prodding towards majesty
I listen to small, the uncomplication, the safety
I listen to large, the unavoidable response to evil’s arms race
I listen to Plato, the untainted accepter of the a priori
I listen to Hume, the dogmatic slumber’s rousing
I listen to microaggressions, the unacknowledged life crushing slights
I listen to old white men, the kind guardians who wisely hesitate
I listen to rage, the unquenchable burning empathy for woes
I listen to patience, the trust in God and hope in Heaven
I listen to wisdom, the warm guide for dark seas
I listen to foolishness, the romantic’s promise and afflicted’s grudge
I listen to Pollock, the explosive expression of raw
I listen to Michelangelo, the measured practice of artistry
I listen to grace, the forgiveness that frees from shame
I listen to perfect, the impossible command that must be done
I listen to consensus, the quick evaluator of things
I listen to dissent, the legitimacy of consensus, or its damnation
I listen to instinct, the unconscious intuitor
I listen to evidence, the persistent and quiet and unassuming fact
I listen to books, the vast interpretations, the grand expositions
I listen to experience, the concreter and compass of the abstract
I listen to Sartre, the despairing master of introspection
I listen to Schaeffer, the level-headed synthesizer of unending horizons
I listen to one, the passionate defender of obvious truth
I listen to another, the antithesis, yet built from the same truth
I listen to dialectic, the balance of opposing self-evidences
I listen to Great Divorce, the final rejection of balance, for the Real

I listen to discord I listen to stretching I listen to tension I listen to paradox I listen to ripping I listen to screaming I listen to ideas and anti-ideas annihilate and I listen and I know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing know nothing.

Then,

I listen to Scripture, the unwavering speaker of the ineffably Actual
I listen to Holy Ghost, the original “Hope” with feathers
I listen to God, the encourager … of listening! the impoverished’s suitor!

But I listen to complaints, uncertainties, dissonance
I listen to scientists, the naive(?) perceivers of a God of the gaps
I listen to philosophy, the validation of never-ending skepticism
I listen to historians, the enlightened demythologizers
I listen to artists, the beautiful wills that cannot be beautifully violated
I listen to religions, the other claimers of what I claim
I listen to archaeology, the luck to whom I say, “Be a lady tonight”
And I listen to myself – I listen … to doubt.

So you ask, “Who should I believe over here?”
I ask with you, and may answer
Or may not, but the reply is ever verified:
Christ